Oh I see myself in a brand new way
Most recently I had an experience where a mentor of mine fell from grace. It was not with the company they worked for and I do not believe they even knew it happened. Why? Because they fell from grace in my eyes. This was a person I looked up to, admired, adapted management styles from. When I first began my leadership journey they were there for me to reach out to. But then I start seeing things and hearing stories and looking at the facts. There comes a time in every situation where no matter how much you don’t want to – you need a call the kettle black.
And when I accepted that maybe I did not know my mentor at all – suddenly I was identifying with kids who find out their sports heroes use substances to create artificial talent. And I have to say – it hurt. It hurt because I thought I knew this person, I had looked up to them, bounced ideas off of them and in the end respected them to do the right thing. Instead I found out that in some cases they did everything totally wrong and they probably could have used the advice that they had provided to me so long ago.
The fall of a hero or a mentor at any age hurts. When you’re a child you just know that this person was not who you thought they were. When you’re an adult it’s worse because you can pretty much figure out the reasons for why they did what they did – which will bother you even more. Oddly enough I found myself so caught up in the horror of a mentors fall from grace I sought out advice from another trusted source.
In so many words I learned something about what it is to be a leader. Why I practice and preach self growth and development so much. My trusted source reminded me that maybe my mentor had not fallen from grace. That maybe they were doing just what they always had done – that it was I who had grown to understand it was not right. Evolution happens in many forms, leaders grow in many ways – most different from one another. But it took someone else to help me see that maybe they had never fallen, maybe I had risen above.
There comes a time in each teacher’s life when they realize they have no more to teach their student. That by practice, hard work and learning the student has outgrown their talents and it’s time to move to the next student who needs help. Such is the way with mentors. We can trust them, respect them, admire them and follow them. Still, chances are in the end we will outgrow them. And that’s okay. As long as we remember the good times and the solid foundation of knowledge they passed onto us.
What would a leader do?
~ Create your trusted sources for advice or someone who will just listen and not pass judgment.
~ Read the Speed of Trust and if possible attend the seminar
~ Keep in touch with your employees and co-workers. Ask the hard questions you might not want to hear the answers to, be open to that feedback.
~ Review the 4 Imperatives of Great Leaders
